New Task

Sir often likes to set me tasks. Mostly they are non-planned and spurred by something random that we may be discussing, but they are always challenging for me. Always. He knows how to push me out of my comfort zone and although i may not always relish the thought of these tasks when He initially asks them of me, i do know that there is a reason behind them all, and often they will enhance our relationship, or our understanding. Even though i know this, sometimes they still make me initially uncomfortable.

Such a task materialised from a conversation we were having the other day. He has asked that i give Him a list of things that i have gone without from Him recently, due to our personal circumstances which dictate that we cannot be together as often as we'd like (which for me, is all the time). This list is to incorporate the details of things that i would like from Him, and in His words, will help Him to become a better Master. It is true that both He and i know that there have been times of late where i have needed things from Him that have not been possible for Him to provide, but i am still finding this task quite difficult to complete.

i started this task yesterday and went to finish it off today and have ended up deleting everything i'd written and forcing myself to start again. Initially i actually thought this might be amongst the easier of the tasks He has set for me, but i'm finding it tough because even though there are things that i need from Him, i don't want to ever come across as if i don't appreciate the things He does already. He has never been a Dom who sets the rules whether i like it or not, and most often He treats me as His equal, even though it is very obvious within our dynamic (and the undertones are always present) that i am His submissive. So, it almost seems unappreciative of me to ask for anything more, and very unsubmissive-like.

On the other hand, i also know it is foolish of me to question it, and i have no idea why i am. i think it just goes against my natural instinct, not necessarily to let Him know the things i would like more of, but more-so because i'm concerned of expressing anything that may be considered a 'failing' on His part. i really hope it doesn't happen that way.

He would tell me that i'm worrying too much and i should do as He asks of me, without over-analysing it. And, of course, He would be absolutely right.